Hi everyone! Hope you had a good start to the week. 🙂 I have been pondering for a while on the three magic words that school taught us back in childhood – Please, Thank you and Sorry. These were what we practiced all our childhood, or you can say, until we faced the real world. To me, this was more or less like a value-system imbibed deep in me. If we could delve deeper, we would realize these are not mere words. These are pretty powerful ways of communication – powerful not in a dominant way, but rather reflection of decency and politeness.
While it holds true that we seldom say a “Thank You” to the ones pretty close to our heart, an occasional expression of Gesture could always bring a smile on their face. Now isn’t that valuable enough? “Please“, on the other hand makes its way through to most of our daily bustle quite frequently. It is only apology, expressed universally in 5 syllables of “sorry”, that is shrouded by the veil of ego which rarely finds a place in our conversations. This is more common in our personal lives, because most of us are sensible enough to use it to our convenience in our professional lives.
What’s in a sorry after all?
We all are different, and none is like the other. It’s the difference that binds the world in a nutshell. I have often noticed that miscommunication paves the way for misunderstanding, leading to a disgruntled self and hoards of frustration. While some of us are extremely capable of deftly handling such situations, some can only barely manage it. To me, the best way out is to let go and forget. This is important for our own inner peace which is disturbed with ongoing internal conflicts among various emotions.
I for one, sometimes find it very difficult to forgive. So I would never suggest you to do something that I’m not capable of doing myself. But then there are times when I wonder, how difficult is it to walk up, put on a brave face and apologize? And eventually settling with a lighter conscience? Of course that is when the person at stake is your very own family? Or perhaps a very close friend? What do you lose? Only a little ego. Sometimes we may even find it difficult to admit to mistakes, and it’s not every time we are mere victims of misunderstandings. There are a genuine number of times we falter, and it’s very human. But those times we should be courageous enough to own up to our mistakes by keeping ego aside, and seek an apology. I tell you, a heartfelt apology never feels bad. 🙂
“Sorry” is for seeking forgiveness, but what if miscommunications put you in a situation where you fail to find your fault? Worse still, what if the person at the other end also finds herself in a similar mess of minds as you? But if you judge with a more neutral perspective you realize it’s none of your faults, and only a messy turn of events and misinterpreted talkathons. I have found myself in such chaotic state of affairs quite a number of times. But then doesn’t the person I’m waging a hate-war with matter a lot to me? Is it just me who is bewildered? Of course not. I could continue playing the blame-game for as long as it worked in my favour, but I’ll confess, it gets me drained. I find the continuation of misunderstandings a wastage of Time. And I hate that.
That is when I try seeing apology as a reversal of its essential meaning. I try to visualize it as not only seeking forgiveness, but also forgiving. 🙂 Who you ask? Well if you ask me, it’s myself that I choose to forgive. I seek to relieve myself from the tumultuous clashes raging war inside me. If that doesn’t suffice, I convince myself that gathering the good courage of saying a “sorry”, is just as good as forgiving the other person as well. 🙂 All this for the sake of prevailing a sense of tranquility within myself.
the power of a “sorry” :
After a certain age, you begin to seek for mental peace. Life gives us enough reasons to get our minds in shambles. After a certain age we also begin to realize the fine line between the monster of an ego, and the humility of self-respect. That’s when apologizing becomes easier. When we can see through the transparent point of view. We know then that a “sorry” to our loved ones won’t take away anything, but perhaps make our lives, and theirs, a tad easier? Rather than adding up to the clutter that our minds already are? And I believe “sorry” shouldn’t be so difficult to handle as well. Given the intensity of situations, apologies should be easy to exchange. Particularly when one unknowingly hurts the other, or both are victims of everything “mis-“. 🙂
To me, apology is not gender-biased, nor is it biased towards age or race. We are born human and we will do everything human. Mistakes are human. So are misunderstandings. Apologies too, are human. For me, it is the previous step to having a less guilty conscience. It relieves my stressed out mind to usher in some peace. If we think deep, it’s our ego that blinds us from the truth. The same culprit gets you enraged and frustrated, keeping you away from humility. Ego doesn’t let us forgive, let alone seek forgiveness. But it’s important for our own inner peace that we let it go.
It’s not really very difficult to seek an apology, particularly when I know the implications of being bound in the shackles of ego and rage. I’m vulnerable at that moment, and prone to losing my precious little peace of mind. Apology is even easier when I know what the person at stake means to me. There are only a very few really important people in our lives, who make our lives worthwhile at some point or the other. It’s unwise to lose up on them. I have, on occasions, been on the other end of a brunt. However, I have had people who reverted the same gesture to me, and we still go strong. And that’s how I know the miracles that forgiveness is able to conjure. 🙂
I also strongly feel that my words convey my feelings directly. Sure actions speak louder than words, but it’s always more straightforward to speak it up and let the other person know what you’re thinking. “Sorry” is a powerful word indeed, and it doesn’t really cost us anything! 🙂 It’s easier to forget and forgive petty issues of life, because there are bigger problems out there in the world.
A Last Note :
Now I know why our teachers emphasized the importance of the three magic words. They instill a sense of acknowledgement, gratefulness and humility in us. All of that leads us towards a holistic living, and a peaceful self. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of a peaceful and balanced mind, that functions well to handle stress in day-to-day life. But as a last note, I would also tell you to know your limits. There are quite many people who mistake an apology as a symbol of weakness, and not as a sign of humility. It’s a sad truth. However, don’t let anything deter you from seeking and achieving your own peace. And apology in only the right measures, is a humble aide to walk you the aisle of life. 🙂
Well that’s entirely my perspective towards an apology. What’s your perspective towards it? How do you handle tussles of a regular life? Do you let go, or do you hold on to? Do your actions speak louder than words? Talk to me in the comments below!